How to Deal with Physical Self Harm
Pain. We all feel it from time to time, some more than others. This form of discomfort is experienced when we suffer physically or emotionally. Emotionally, everyone copes differently with the challenging situations they face in their lives. Those who suffer with anxiety and/or depression, experience a twister of emotions that may change their mood in a flash. In hopes of a release from their painful thoughts boggled up in their minds and body, some turn to the inappropriate behavior of physical self-harm. Whether they do it to make themselves feel something, punish themselves for things they think they have done wrong, block displeasing memories, feel a sense of control, or show that they need help, we are here to offer a healthy alternative to self-harm.
There are different forms of self-harm and it goes well beyond the typical image the media portrays of the “emo boy” teenager, dressed in all black who cuts. Anyone can feel pain therefore anyone can self-harm. No matter their race, their body shape, their age, etc. The most common types of physical self-harm include but are not limited to the following: piercing the skin, hitting or punching oneself, banging one’s head on a hard surface, cutting, pulling out hair, burning one’s self with a cigarette or flame, and deep scratching. I’d like to take it even further and express how there are sorts of emotional self-harm as well, which we’ll dive into next week.
If you are one that chooses the physical self-harm route, hello! – We believe in you and acknowledge your suffering. You will get through this. Here are some ways to break away from the cycle of self-harm.
Tip 1: At Home Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Focus on the feelings and thoughts. What are your thoughts before, during and after your self harm act, what are your feelings? Write them down. Ask yourself “Which of these feelings or emotions do I actively seek out? Which ones are harmful?”
Come up with other behaviors to reach your satisfaction. Think of why you self harm.
Is it to express your emotions? If so, practice self expression by participating in fine arts such as:
Journaling - even if you stink
Drawing - even if you stink
Painting - even if you stink
Creating music - even if you stink
Play an instrument - even if you stink
Singing - even if you stink
Dancing - even if you stink
Poetry - even if you stink
Acting -even if you stink
Try to relax your shoulders, breathe, let yourself be in the moment, and maybe enjoy it!
Is it to release tension?
Attempt exercising to release endorphins and soon feel the satisfying pain of being sore after a good workout. - Run, Jump Rope, or try reggae or hip hop dance.
My personal favorite is using a slam ball. There is nothing like raising a hefty ball to the sky, then slamming it with your whole body to the ground using every ounce of your strength.
Kickboxing (not to fight) but to release the anger you have built up
Rip up a magazine
Squeeze a stress ball, kinetic sand, or play doh
Punch a mattress or scream inside a pillow
Make loud music - play the drums or bang on pots and pans with kitchen utensils
Is it to calm yourself?
Take a warm shower or bath
Play with your pet - visit a shelter if you do not have one
Practice different breathing techniques
Take a trip to the beach or coastline - even by yourself!
Listen to calming music such as classical or soft instrumental
Get yourself a weighted blanket (works wonders)
Light a candle
Do some light cleaning or organizing
Massage your temple lobes, neck, and feet
Is it because you feel a sense of numbness or disconnection from society or loved ones?
Take a cold shower
Call your mom, dad or guardian
Message people on social media
Watch funny videos or videos of cute animals
Then send those videos to your friends and family
Take an ice cube and place it in the crook of your leg or arm
Call a friend you love and talk about anything that makes you smile
Tip 2: Be more self aware of what triggers you to physically self harm
The thought of paying attention to your feelings can be frightening, but if you allow yourself to feel, rather than self harming, you’ll be able to identify what triggered your need to self harm in the first place.
Practice emotional awareness - Identifying how you feel while being able to thoroughly express what you feel at different points in time or moment to moment.
Know your feelings do not have to result in inappropriate actions like self harm, you can cope in other ways.
Remember, emotions come and go quickly if you let them.
Tip 3: Confide and open up to a loved one
Acknowledging your struggles to yourself and a loved one can be very beneficial. If you are concerned about how they’ll react, tell them you just want to be heard and feel supported.
If you feel like you don’t have someone you trust to speak to, text a crisis counselor at 74174. There is absolutely no shame in doing so and you’re not the only one.
If behavior continues to be severe, reach out to a local treatment center for additional resources and aid or If you’re not sure where to turn, call the S.A.F.E. Alternatives information line in the U.S. at 1-800-366-8288 for referrals and support for cutting and self-harm.
Remember there is no shame, we’re here to help!
Use these methods from helpguide.org